Narcissistic boyfriend

I’ve been dating a man for the last 2 years... I downloaded this app because we were planning to have a baby and start a life. We broke up for the millionth time this last weekend, and I know it needs to be final. I have been reading articles about narcissism and he fits every one to a T. But it’s been so hard for me not to call him anyway.

Of course everything was amazing in the beginning and then the controlling and manipulative side came out after some time passed. And here towards the end he has been purely awful to me. But the stupid side of me still loves him... the man he was in the beginning. I am smart enough to know that wasn’t “real”. But this is so hard. Any suggestions you can make to help me follow my head and not my heart?

My heart is broken and I just want to be okay again.