Right now I am hurt.

4 years ago, I was scared of my boyfriend cheating on me.

I was scared and I felt alone. I had doubts and I had no way of knowing the truth. A boy called me and said my boyfriend has had his tablet when he lied to me about having it. I hung up and checked and sure enough my boyfriend had cheated on me.

That night, my heart broke. That night I felt like I wanted to throw up. That night all my self esteem and all of my trust left.

I called the boy back and he was comforting and so nice.

And the boy who helped me, he turned into my best friend. He turned into the man I wanted to share my life with. He turned into my husband. And then he turned into the father of my child.

He was supposed to be the man to protect me. He was supposed to be the man to love me unconditionally. He was supposed to be the person who could make me forget of all the pain.

But now my heart is broken. Now I feel like I want to throw up. Now all of my self esteem and trust is lost, once again.

And I don't feel safe anymore. I don't feel protected. I don't feel loved.

It wasnt one mistake.

It was a million little ones.

He went behind my back. He talked to the girl. He saved her nudes. He deleted texts. He talked to her. He hid it all from me. He goes to work everyday and sees her and looks at her. Took her into our home and fucked her on our bed.

While his wife is pregnant with their child. And this girl knew that.

This man who I trusted and loved and cared for and put my whole life to his convenience and did everything to make him happy, he did the worst thing someone could ever do to me.

And I feel broken.