I’ve been out of my domestic dispute with my soon ex-husband going on a year (4/19) I have so much trouble being ok with me and I’ll typically hide my face and ears with my dreads bc I don’t want to be looked at strange and ask what happened to my face? My left eye wonders (meaning it’s stuck drifting to one side...left😩😩😩😩) on top of that I have a traumatic cataract in my eye from him hitting me in the eye so many times and my ears which you can’t see my ex-husband hit me in the ear when the gun jammed bc his REAL INTENTIONS was to kill me with the AK-47 he had in his possession, my lip if you can tell( but probably not by much) is also scarred from the multiple times I kept getting hit in the jaw before it completely healed... 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t want pity or bad remarks on my post I just want to know will I EVER TRULY get back to a point of loving myself after dealing with this and wondering could it also be me from PTSD ( I mean I am going to go to a Dr. to find out if I been suffering from it.) but I did have my husband put me through a lot of traumatizing things that would probably pretty appalling(multiple drugs like Molly, Percocet, Xans, beans that he took, sexual assaults, being beat up in front of his family and friends, being falsely imprisoned, being kept from seeing my own family, and being forced to quit a job I only started a month or two ago. Being threatened on more than one occasion of being killed many different way...shot, stabbed, strangled,etc. being blamed for him losing all his money almost put out the car on MULTIPLE different occasion on an dim lit highway where traffic rarely came. Being called a liar and a cheater when I was doing nothing, mind you I’m still being falsely imprisoned being told that the only way I’d EVER get out of the marriage I was with him was by the vowel “Til death do us part” meaning him killing me was the only way I’d ever get away from him)you guys. My mom is the only one that has ever gone through it but I don’t feel she understands me bc she thinks maybe I just want pity from her...NO!!! I never knew he was really the way he was and bad off on what he was on UNTIL I WAS IN THE MARRIAGE WITH HIM, then all his TRUE COLORS showed🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭 the question is how do you learn to love yourself after so much trauma ( I’ve forgiven him and I pray to completely get beyond this) but rn I feel like Beast from Beauty and the Beast 😩😩😩😩 PLZ NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS BC YOU WILL GET REMOVED FROM HERE!!! I know they say there is usually a rainbow after the storm I want to believe there is still hope...

Those pics of my ears was AFTER I got it drained before then they were swollen the size of mini Oranges or maybe a small water ballon... just saying but that is the reason I try as hard as I can to keep it hidden like I do... I SUPPORT AND COMMEND ALL SURVIVORS of Domestic Violence and Aggravated Assault whether male or female... we all should be there for one another.💯