Just to note I am sorry it’s so long.

Since my hubby and I have stopped TTC I have been working on self improvement. It’s only been just over a month but it’s been one hard month, and I’m finally starting to see a change. I started at 310 lbs and am now currently at 291.2 lbs it’s not much but it has made a huge difference. I was 165lbs 5 1/2 years ago but then I got in a motorcycle accident (09/02/12) and was constantly told I can’t do this I can’t do that. After that I slowly started putting on weight. (Was at 200lbs by this time)

Then in September 2013 I met my love we started dating and in June 2014 we ended up pregnant (was on BC) July we miscarried, upset we both agreed it was for the best. December 2015 we find out we are 5 weeks pregnant , this time planned, we were thrilled, and crying happy tears.

I will never forget this day, December 24 2015, the day everything went wrong, the day I lost myself. It was like any other having Christmas dinner with my family then I get this feeling like when your cycle starts I run to the bathroom and it was everywhere. I didn’t know what to do. I was screaming for my mom and balling. I couldn’t move I was so lost everything was a blur, then comes the news that I am no longer pregnant and I miscarried again. We were crushed.

So at 19 I started to slowly fall into depression then we had 2 more miscarriage which made things worse, following the 4th on our doctor tells me we need to start thinking about seeing a specialist that we might not be able to conceive without help. I cried and cried about this I was only 20 years old how could this be? I’m supposed to be in my prime for having kids. So it’s safe to say I fell in the depression hole even farther, crying all day and all night I gave up on everything I just didn’t care. I gained 110 lbs and had 3 more miscarriages before we decided to stop.

I am finally starting to feel myself again and starting to believe that all this isn’t my fault, that there was nothing and is nothing I can do to change it. I’m now down 19ish lbs and no longer have chest pains we will one day try again but for now I’m working on loving me and becoming a better me.

Also to note my weight loss is not done the traditional way. I’m using meal supplement protein shakes for breakfast and lunch with a proper dinner, and walking (sometimes)

Here a picture of my progress so far