my ex messaged me after 5 months lol
First of all, i don’t think anything bad happened between us. We just kind of ended but it wasn’t anything major or where we couldn’t talk or bare to see each other after
I’m 18 and he’s 21.
He basically didn’t call me for a week and i have too much pride so i didn’t try to contact him either.
When he finally messaged me, he told me how he didn’t like the fact that only once in that relationship did i ever message him first and that he liked me but it couldn’t always be one sided.
I apologised, told him that i really can’t help it but that i don’t like feeling like i’m bothering someone. He told that’s not a good excuse because it’s a relationship.
After that we did talk a few times. A month later he also tried to call me, but i didn’t pick up so he messaged me to call him back. When i did call him, he was like ‘i wanted you to call me earlier but i can’t really talk right now i’m with my homies’
Fast forward 4 months later, yesterday when he messaged me asking me how i’ve been and that’s it’s been a long time.
So far i know the blame is on me and my pride but let me just say that there’s things i really couldn’t stand about him even though i liked him a lot. I’m not a person who likes to argue so i never really told him but i had my personal reasons too.
First of all, he would ALWAYS pressure me to have sex, asking me why i won’t do it even though we had been basically dating for 4 months. He would literally not let me sleep unless we argued and finally ignored each other for the rest of the night or until in the middle of the night where he would tell me to not sleep with my back turned to him.
I think he was too sexually attracted to me (too much of something can be a bad thing, and in the end i was not flattered, i was more disgusted)
- and i was not ready to have sex but he could never understand why. He even boldly suggested that i give him sex as one of his birthday presents😐
And sometimes he was a little too rough with me. For example, one day we we were together in bed, his friend was in the room sat on a couch faced away from us, watching tv with my best friend. He was quietly asking me again, why i won’t have sex with him.. i told him in a normal voice, that it was my choice and that was it, it wasn’t going to happen. Suddenly he places his hand over my mouth and told he didn’t like the fact that i was so loud, and that it shouldn’t happen again🤔
That made me mad but i sucked it up. He also knows that i don’t like being fingered or having my nipples sucked the way he does it, which is rough. He bites my neck too, really hard whilst trying to finger me.
(trying to make me forget i guess but i don’t see how i can enjoy that, when he’s acting like a sexual predator towards me)
I would try to take his hand away but every time i did that, he would grab my wrist and tell me to not do it again or he will have to grab my wrist again.
He would ask me why i’m such a prude and tell me that there was no other way to put it because he knows i don’t like that word. (let me also mention that i did give him oral sex a couple times)
As you can see that’s a little fucked up.. He was also a body builder (175 lbs - 5’8 i’m 5’6 and 125 lbs) See the difference. That’s why i was getting a little worried plus with him being on the rough side, it didn’t make things any better. One day he also told me that if his girlfriend cheated, he doesn’t know if he could control himself and not beat her up. I mean, all in all, that’s pretty crazy to say to the girl you’re dating.
But besides all the sex stuff, he was nice.
Anyway that week we didn’t talk, i got advice from you guys telling me that it wasn’t worth it and to just let go of the relationship.
I did miss him but now i’ve moved to on, and i don’t have any feelings towards him.
Now i’ve learnt to just let someone know if i’m not happy with the way they are treating me because it can seriously take a turn for the worst.
If you made it here, i know it’s long but i just wanted to vent about this.
Oh and also.. My friend knows that he’s a little violent but she’s telling me to get back with him. I keep telling her that i don’t like this side of him but she is pushing me to talk to him.