I always grew up with the idea that molestation and violation would be similar to rape. You know, the whole held down by force by the opposite gender Abd forced to engage in activities you didn't want.

It got me thinking about when I was a teenager....

One night a cousin of mine slept over (we are both GIRLS) and since I have a queen bed we slept on the same bed. She was telling me about the time she made out with another cousin of ours and How they are each other out. She was basically taunting me saying how I'm not like them because I wouldn't dare do what they did. I wanted to prove that I was just as daring as them. So I let her do it to me. It didn't feel good and it didn't feel right. Not to mention I had a boyfriend at the time and she assured me it wasn't cheating because she was a girl and we were related. It didn't change the fact that I felt so dirty and I try so hard to forget it and I can't. It honestly eats me alive (no pun intended). I know I had told her I wanted to but it was only because I wanted her to think highly of me. Was that manipulation on me? Was I tricked into being violated? I should mention she has done it to about 4-5 other girl cousins.