Feeling... Insufficient?

I am a woman of confidence. I spent my childhood being told I was fat and ugly, but managed to get past that while I was in high school... however, it still has a way to creep back up on me and bring even my best moods sinking like the Titanic. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and have a great relationship, however when it comes to things in the bedroom I'm somehow always left feeling... not good enough. We do various things quite often (I give him hand jobs and blow jobs and hickies, he'll give me hickies and sometimes when we're in the shower together he'll finger me), but I'm ALWAYS the one to initiate things. And every time it happens, of course in the moment I assume we're both enjoying ourselves, but then when we're done I'm always pulled back to the fact that I started it. He doesn't grab my chest, he doesn't touch me randomly or start kissing my neck or initiate a make out session like he wants to actually do something. Often when we shower together we'll finish him and then he says he wants to get out and doesn't even acknowledge that maybe I want something in return, or if I joke about getting an iou he's just like "eh". And then today, my frien and I went out shopping and I bought a bunch of nice dresses for the spring and dates and things like that (I even bought a piece of lingerie) and I managed to convince him to come into our room so he could see me in them (I wanted his opinion since he obviously hadn't been with us) and while he said he liked them, he didn't show much interest or anything. Like he was just saying he liked them because I said I did. I know it sounds selfish, but it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough or he doesn't want me because of my body or... I don't even know. I just needed to rant, I suppose. Feel free to leave oopinions..