I'm asking this for a better understanding from what I've experienced. *Please let me know if it's in the wrong group, I will remove it* (it's a lot)

Note: I am adopted, and I think this could be a reason why.

It started in elementary school. My parents constantly pushed me to do good in my classes, compared me to my cousin who "excelled" in his studies. My parents often asked me why I couldn't be like him. They often called me annoying, which made me feel like an outcast in my own home, mostly because they weren't aware that I was being bullied at school. My dad was/is an alcoholic. I grew up hearing my parents argue, some physical and some not. I witnessed how they seemed to take it out on everyone around them... my mom, specifically. I remember having her punch me in the face, only to leave a knot and gash on my forehead that I had to lie about.

I had baby fat, and my mom began to taunt me for it. It started with the "you have a lot of ass" and escalated to "you could be a model, but you like to eat" my dad never said anything, he never engaged in the taunting, and he never stopped her either. My mom likes to think she was "perfect" and she made sure to let me know by stealing the spotlight or the attention I received If I guy flirted or looked in my direction, she'd make a way to sabotage it My mom went on to talk about how nobody would ever want to be with me because I'm black and awkward.

In high school, I developed an eating disorder. My lowest weight dropped to 125. Why did I do it? because I was insecure, made to believe that I'd be prettier if I was skinnier. I recall seeing an episode of Dating Naked (?) and playfully saying that I'd try it, only for my mom to respond with "nobody wants to see those big thighs of yours". Another day she said "she likes what she can get" when I mentioned liking a certain country singer, my brother said it wasn't true and she insisted it was.

to

My weight dropped, I find it in an unhealthy way, but it made me feel good. My mom said that I needed to eat because I was starting to look "sick" and that "nobody likes girls who starve themselves" I've gotten better, but still catch myself falling into old habits. To this very day she comments on my weight, in snarky backhanded compliments. My dad joined in with her one day, but I didn't know until my mom came to me and said "Your dad said you gained weight" and when I didn't get upset (which I'm sure sure wanted) she goes "you normally get upset" I can continue giving examples, but then it'd be a novel by then (lol)... but what I've experienced has led me to have body issues, depression, and anxiety. So my question is, do you think a parent's criticism is a reflection of themselves?