Ugh :(.
Lately my boyfriend has been so agitated. Like, I understand he's stressed to the max with a baby coming, finding a new place and working six days a week but he doesn't have to take it out on me. We agreed I'd be staying home with the baby but i can't get a job right now as we're moving in a month. I don't even know where we're moving so I can't look. So basically whenever he gets home I try to be very accommodating and try to ensure he comes home to a nice clean happy environment. Would it kill him to help? So he does his thing around the house and when he gets frustrated he just kinda 'hulk' rages. Smashing drawers in really hard and slamming doors and just throwing things across the room when it's in his way, and then I try to tell him he needs to take a breath he freaks out on me and starts talking down to me and telling me I should be grateful that he's paying for everything and giving me this life I wouldn't have otherwise and I need to stop bitching at him and just shut my mouth and keep doing what I'm supposed to do.
I AM grateful, I tell him that all the time and it hurts that's he's like this and then denies he says anything when I try to talk to him later about it. It's like Everytime I try to get him to take a moment and breath he thinks I'm not being grateful? I thought I was his partner? I thought I was supposed to be like this. To be supportive but also show him the way when he doesn't understand or is lost with all this stress.... I'm supposed to take a load off of him but he doesn't even let me do that. I don't work, I know I don't offer anything to this relationship but I cook and clean and do his laundry and take care of our dog (his dog he says since he pays for him). I hate this. Like yeah, I know I'm not working 6 days a week 12-16 hours a day, but he already told me he understands why I can't get a job. It isn't ethical and no one will hire me right now. I'm pregnant, don't even have a place to live, moving in a month to somewhere I have no idea. Having a baby in three months. I just wish there was a way to put us on more equal ground. I'm 12 years younger than him and he treats me like a child.. I'm just so sick of it. I can't even bring this stuff up because it makes me an ungrateful selfish brat who doesn't know anything. I know it'll get better when we move closer to work and they hire another person to help him out because he's working so hard right now. Just ugh.
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