So I hardly ever post, I hardly ever comment. And honestly I’m not even sure where to start with this post. I guess I’ll start by saying that I’m just really pissed off. I’m pissed off about the fact that I have been off of birth control for over 2 years now, I have had unprotected sex for well over 2 years with my husband, and we have been ttc for over a year. I realize that there’s an issue since I’m not currently pregnant and never have been. I went to the doctor in December, and she says well just wait. The whole reason I am at the doctor is so that she would help me? I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to her or ask any questions because I was so caught off guard at the fact that she was so unwilling to help me. She walked out of the room I came home and sat here like a knot on a log thinking wel maybe she’s right. She is a doctor after all, so I wait, and I wait, and I freaking wait. I cry, I pray, I take prenatal, I plead and beg God to bless my husband and I with this gift. What more can I do? I let this get the best of me not too long ago, I had this app for about 8 months and had to delete it because I couldn’t handle the jealousy and depression I was putting myself through so I deleted it thinking that would keep my mind off of it. I lay here in bed tonight looking at my search history on google just for the heck of it and over 85% of it was tips on how to get pregnant, how can you tell if you’re infertile, how can you tell if a man is infertile, at home fertility tests for men, fertility doctors near me, other people’s testimonies about their hardships with ttc. As I’m looking through all of it, I stop myself and think what are you doing to yourself? Why would you do this? How much longer can this go on? I just want answers and every where I turn no one has them..I’m not asking for anyone’s pity or anything like that, you don’t even have to read my post. I just needed to vent and this was the only place I could do it without being worried about saying the wrong thing. I’m over all of it. Congratulations to all of you women that are pregnant and good luck to all the women that are trying. All of you are in my prayers 🙏🏼