Two years ago.

Two years ago tonight I didn't know you.

I didn't even know you existed but I had a feeling and when those two pink lines showed up I was so excited.

The man I loved came home sat on the bed and explained how he wasn't happy anymore because my depression, the darkness shall we say had taken over everything in my life and I couldn't go to the doctor and admit I had a problem and I couldn't tell him about you.

He was yelling, screaming even and the pain I was feeling in my body was too much to comprehend. Tears rolling down my cheeks how was I supposed to tell him?

He walked out at midnight, never turning back but I collapsed to my knees trying to hold myself together

I was dealing with this alone.

The night went on and I sat there blankly numb at the pain within me and I started to feel empty.

You were slipping away.

I considered taking my own life that night both you and he were gone.

I didn't tell him about you, at least not straight away and when I did he broke down and told me he would never see me again.

Then his friends and family convinced him that I was a liar and I would never tell the truth, I had no proof that they wanted.

Your dad didn't believe that you existed.

Two years ago I was pregnant with you when I lost you and I'm sorry. Maybe I could of given you the life you deserved, I know I would of loved you with everything I had

Just know you were always wanted, wanted by me. 💕