My sex drive is gone :(

i’ve never posted on here before, but i don’t really have anywhere else to turn to, so here we go.

i’ve been dating the same guy for 4 years now and we live together. i love him dearly, but my life is about to change in the upcoming months (i’m about to graduate college and i’m moving away from him this summer).

anyway, when we first started dating, we had sex regularly and it was enjoyable. then about two years into our relationship, sex became quite painful for me and after that i avoided it for a long time. he’s always been supportive of me so he’s never pressured me into anything (or made me feel bad for not wanting to have sex).

my doctor took me off the pill after i expressed my concerns and i’ve been off for an entire year now but my sex drive is completely gone. i never get horny and i’m never in the mood to do anything. i recently had my exam because i turned 21, and i’m completely healthy. physically, at least.

my doctor seems to think it’s more mental than anything, but for whatever reason, i cannot get myself to get in the mood. the thought of having sex sort of appeals to me (i mean, i enjoyed it before), but i feel like my sex drive is totally gone. i’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it, but it’s been so long since we’ve had sex (about a year and half now) that he thinks it’s “awkward”. we don’t even make out anymore, let alone anything else.

i don’t know, maybe i’m a lost cause. it’s upsetting because i feel like ultimately our relationship is going to suffer in the long run. he claims he’s totally okay with it because he doesn’t want me to be in pain (like before), but i’m now worrying about our future as a couple. if you can’t get intimate with the person you love, then... what happens next?

i only say that because recently i’ve been dealing with a lot of feelings concerning our relationship. the fact that we can’t even have sex or even mess around like we used to really scares me. and now i don’t know what to do.

if anyone read this whole thing and has... well, any words of advice, i’d really appreciate it. i go to therapy monthly to deal with a lot of this anxiety, but i figured this was worth a shot.