I really feel like this is kind of a safe place so I wanted to explain and share some things that might answer a few questions.

I’m single and I’m gonna have this baby by myself. My little angel was conceived in an abusive relationship. I was actually on the verge of getting out when I got pregnant (BC failed) and after considering every possibility I decided to keep the baby cause I always felt like a mother and I couldn’t bring myself to any other decision.

My ex was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. He never hit me, but he was possessive, aggressive and controlling, he made me feel like a piece of shit. When he got angry (which he did all the time for example because a guy followed me on Instagram) he would grab me hard enough to leave marks, yell at me, threaten to leave me, say he would go out to fuck other women, block me on all media for days and shit like that. He raped me regularly. Sometimes in a more aggressive way when I tried to actually stop it and crawl away while crying, most of the times i just laid there, trying to feel nothing while I begged him to finish. Please don’t ask me why I stayed, I am trying to figure it out right now to prevent something like this from ever happening again to me.

When I got pregnant he swore everything would get better because we were a family now, and dumbass that I am I wanted to believe him and stayed. He got even worse because the second I told him I was with his child he considered me his property. It took me almost 8 months to realise what i was putting myself through and that I couldn’t allow to have my child grow up in this environment. About a month ago was the last time that I saw him. When I told him I couldn’t do this anymore he screamed at me, calling me all kinds of horrible stuff, spat on me and told me that from now on this wasn’t his child anymore and he would never come back. I told him I hope he stays true to his word, this wasn’t his child but mine and if he ever tried to come back into our life I would get the police involved.

I thought I’d share this with you guys to avoid confusion about me always just talking about my child and all the stuff I do instead of saying we or mentioning someone else. My little boy is the only man in my life right now.