I am 29 years old. DH is 31.  I've been TTC for 2+ years, had a MC at 8 weeks a few months ago. We started trying again in January 2014, so we will be finding out by 2/11. In the meantime, this journey has been so emotional. When we found out I was pregnant in Sept 2013, we were over the moon. DH and I couldn't focus on anything else. We sailed through those weeks thinking only about our future... with our baby and making all kinds of plans. By week 8, they couldn't find the heartbeat and my little peanut stopped growing. To make matters worse, my body didn't expel it naturally and I had to have a D&C. Needless to say, last year's holidays were very sad... We had imagined telling everyone and I had dreamed about all my loved ones rubbing my belly and making predictions on whether it'd be a boy/girl. After the D&C, we waited for 2 months and on Jan, we started trying again. Now, I can't help but obsess about every little symptom: headache, cramp, etc. I hate being this helpless. Throughout my life, I've accomplished pretty much everything I've set out to do. However, this journey has shown me that we really have no control over our own bodies... And I feel so helpless. :( To make my journey even more painful, my sister in law (who I hate!) got pregnant around the same time (and she wasn't even trying!!!). Two months after getting married, BAM! She's pregnant. And her usually selfish and egocentric nature became utterly unbearable. I wish nothing but the best for her little bundle of joy. But it's too painful to witness what should have been my time. So, I have just withdrawn myself from the situation. I avoid her like  the plague! Additionally, one of my best friends got pregnant, without trying, for the second time (bicornuate uterus and all). She has a precarious financial situation and cannot handle a new baby at this time. Yet, there she is... in all its pregnant glory. Again, I wish her nothing but the absolute best. But this is too painful to watch. So, I have withdrawn myself from her vicinity. Nobody, except for DH, is remotely aware of my tribulations and this painful journey. As a result, everyday I get a little more lonely. Oh, I forgot to mention, I am an ER doctor. I treat pregnant women everyday and I hear their stories (unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, unable to really afford a baby, doing all sorts of questionable life choices in pregnancy) and I can't help but wonder... If there is a god up there, how can these things be possible? Here you have a couple that wants nothing more than a bundle(s) of joy; a couple who is extremely in love and financially sound, just ready for that baby... and instead, we get to wait? For what? How long? Wi it ever happen? I am really sad.... Just waiting and waiting....