I don't know what to do

everything has been terrible for me, I just been so depressed lately and I can't even find a job!!! my partner now wants me to pack my shit up and leave and get a job(which I been trying to do) ... this morning I got him up at 4am for work and everything and he was yelling at me... but then snuggled me... yelled at me again... then it was time to leave I tried to get a hug from him like I do everyday and he tried to leave (keep in mind he was going to be 30 min early still) and I tried to shut the door so I could get my hug and say bye and everything... then I just got mad cause he yelled at me that I tried closing the door on him.. he then came at me and tried to push me up our stairs... me beinh frustrated i threw a shoe near the car (not at him or the car though) he is always making me seem like the bad guy cause I have fucked up many times the last 4 years but he has too... he hasn't even been gone an hour and I have been none stop crying.. I ended up blocking him after he texted me to pack up and leave EDIT: it's hard for me to just leave though I do have no where to go, and I been with him for 4 years. this has recently happened because of myself not finding work now for a few months...EDIT: I have an awful relationship with both my parents and have a restraining order against my mum and I currently live 15 hours away and I haven't talked to my dad in 4 years as he is living in another country.... not everyone can automatically go back tp parents