I am trying so hard this month to just relax. The last 4 cycles (I’m on my 5th) I have been so frantic TTC. I just took everything personally. It’s been making it hard for me to be around pregnant women. It just hurt my heart so much with envy.

I know that once the 2 week waiting starts after ovulation (in a day or two) I will be a mess again. I’ll probably start testing every day starting at 8 dpo.

I just wish I could calm myself so it didn’t hurt so much. So envy didn’t consume me. It’s just such an ugly emotion.