So I wrote a post a while back about my current SO and his problem with my past (sleeping around with quite a few guys within two year span and being a cam girl for a few months) all thinggs im not proud of but have moved on from.

Anyways he has gotten a lot better about it and never really mentions it at all, maybe like once a month the past two months which is a big improvement from once a week. And we’re doing super well, very good with communication about everything and we have really grown into becoming each others best friends and partners. He occasionally has mood swings and gets cranky over little shit like me not texting back fast enough or me being later than I said id be (im on the laggin wagon 24/7) but usually its because hes just hungry, then I feed him and then hes a sweetheart again.

We went to Hawaii last week with his family which was fffffing amazing and im so grateful. But he said something to me that I cant stop thinking about “i think we should move away from (where we currently live) so that I dont have to think about all the guys you slept with in that town” my response “if you cant stop thinking about them there what makes you think youll ever stop thinking about it??”

That was partially resolved and we enjoyed the rest of our trip.

Now being back, (I love him so much) but ive been feeling myself emotionally distancing myself from him, and thinking about all the hang ups and arguments hes caused because of his problems with my past and how he thinks extremely highly of himself and thinks that he saved me from being a slut basically. And My mind is running rampant over all the negative things about him. Like today he got kind if mad that i didnt go hiking with him (mind you im dog sitting for an elderly dog who cant be left alone too long and my ankle is swollen from wacking it with my skateboard) and i feel annoyed by him more and more.

Two nights ago I had a dream about my ex (which never happens) and it made me miss him and wonder how is life is (we ended on decent terms, both going separate ways in life lil over 3 years ago.

Anyways i dont even know what im asking, i just needed to vent, sorry its so long, i dont really have anyone to talk to about this other than my dad and he said to just be patient and understanding but to stand up for myself. And my only friend in town wants me to leave him because he doesnt really care to hangout with her and often gets mad at me when i do go see her because he assumes im flirting with her roommates or something (mind you ive NEVER cheated in my life nor been a flirty type at all! ) (hes actually cheated on me within the first month of us dating with 3 or 4 girls over facetime while i was at a festival.

Idk im lost. We have been talking a bout moving in together for a while now in September but im scared to more and more. Idk what to do.

I also dont just want to give up, because that option is way to prominent these days and I want a lasting dedicated lover/partner like the old days basically.