She's here! (Epidural panic attack)


At my 37 week appointment my doctor told me to go straight to the hospital and that I'd be having the baby that day (I was induced that day but she came the next day). I had marginal cord insertion which can cause the cord to kink or decrease nutrients being passed to baby. My baby was measuring small, in the 7th percentile. I also had low amniotic fluid. They checked to make sure she was practicing her breathing in utero to be sure she was ready to come out, she was. I was induced at the hospital with cervadil and 12 hours later they started pitocin. I labored until I was dilated to 4cm before asking for an epidural. I had an epidural with my first and slept through my labor. I woke up with the urge to poop and he was here. This time I was wide awake so I got my epidural which was placed perfectly and had not remembered how numbing it is. Last time I still had some feeling and walked to the bathroom afterwards. This time I was completely numb from the waist down. I know, that's the point right? Yeah I just didn't remember that sensation, or lack there of. I began to panic because I was touching my skin on my hips and legs but couldn't feel it. I felt like I was touching a dead body. I then began to have a full blown panic attack. I kept trying to make my legs move, which of course they wouldn't. I was starting to hyperventilate. I was crying clawing at me sheets. My nurse and my husband were trying to calm me down and the anesthesiologist came in and lowered my epidural to its lowest setting. I began to feel my legs tingle and could feel mild contractions. It was enough to calm me down. I apologized to everyone for freaking out. I still don't understand why I did. The anesthesiologist said not to worry about it and it's more common than I think. So then I began to relax and my husband massaged my legs so I could feel them tingle. (Yes, I still wanted my epidural. I don't tolerate pain well and it's what I still wanted. No hate comments please)

The nurse came in around 8:15p. I had been in the process of my induction for 26 hours. She asked if I wanted to be checked. She wasn't too concerned since I had been progressing slowly. She tried to check but only her finger tips got in and she felt baby's head. She rushed get the room set up and suddenly the room was full of people. I began to vomit and have stomach pains. It was time. My husband said I pushed through one contraction three times for about a minute and she was here! She was born at 8:25p. The ultrasound guessed that she weighed 5lbs but she came out weighing 6lbs 6oz. She got a 9 out of 9 on her apgar. She nurses really well. We're over the moon! Can't believe she's here. It's been amazing having her with us. Good luck to you ladies during your deliveries! It's all so completely worth it.

P.S. got our matching hospital jammies on Amazon. 😉