Is it selfish?

Having a baby by someone who does not want it. I felt myself becoming bitter and figured since he doesn’t want to be supportive now he doesn’t get to be supportive when the baby comes. Reality set in with me that it would not be fair to my child for me to stand in the way if he tries to be I involved. So I was talking to a friend and said I won’t interfere but I feel like anything he wants to coordinate with the baby can be done thru my parents. She said I was being selfish with that? I just don’t get how.. even when I try to compromise I still feel like I’m being wrong. He doesn’t want to be around now so why do I have to allow someone to be in my presence later? I’m not saying he can’t see the baby whenever, I’m saying theres no need for him to ever contact me directly but instead my parents. Am I selfish? I got upset when she told me I was but tried to brush it off. Seems like no matter what I’m losing and constantly having to “be the bigger person” for someone who has yet to be consistent yet. Thank you in advance for your advice and input 💖


Thank you all for your advice. Involving my parents was their idea. My mother knows the history of our relationship and didn’t think it would be healthy for him to continue to deal with me directly. I’m not passing anything off to them, simply was inquiring about different views about the situation. I wish it was just as simple as being mature about it but I didn’t want to go that deep on why I know it’s not that simple. But anyway thank you all.