The hardest part of life, is living.

So a little (read: long) back story; my husband and I decided to begin trying to conceive in November. We are both young and healthy, and naively assumed we would get pregnant the first month of trying no problem. That didn't happen, but we did get a positive pregnancy test in February. We were over joyed, and upon taking multiple more test that all came back positive, we were eager to begin preparing for our very much loved baby. So we painted the nursery, and bought many items. I began crocheting a baby blanket. Well, after only knowing about our sweet baby for a week, we lost her. I haven't been in the nursery since. It has just been too painful. After months of healing physically and emotionally, I reentered the room today and began working on the blanket again. Maybe it is just as naive to think that if I finish it, I will have a baby to put in it. But for the first time in a while I finally have hope again. May will be our first month of actively trying since the

miscarriage, and I pray that we will conceive our rainbow baby. Until then, I will just be here. Missing a child I never got to meet, and preparing for one that doesnt exist.