I am in a relationship with a man who has a 5 year old son from a previous relationship. We have been together for the past 3.5 years. My partner has full custody of his son and we are with him 100% of the time. (He does go to daycare and is starting kindergarten in fall)

My boyfriend spoils the crap outta this kid. We have almost every toy at Toys R Us stuffed into our two bedroom house. He hardly plays with his toys because he is always in front of his phone watching god awful YouTube for Kids. This kid lives on candy, carbs, and cheese and often throws fits about eating ‘new’ things. And something that is REALLY starting to irritate me is the co-sleeping situation. The entire time that I have been in this relationship, the child requires his father to drift him off to sleep. Often that includes my boyfriend falling asleep in the kids bed and staying there all night. If I attempt to wake him, he sleepily rolls over and says that his son is not asleep yet. If for some reason my boyfriend does make it out of the room to sleep in our bed, he is beckoned back into the kids bedroom by screaming and crying in the middle of the night. Seriously, it’s like living with a new baby.

I have tried to talk to my partner about this, and he doesn’t really care. I really don’t think he sees it as a problem. Sometimes he will say that he slept like shit (bc the 2 of them are squeezed on a twin bed, or bc he was back and forth between the rooms all night) but he will never make changes to the routine bc it is “easier to keep doing what I’m doing”. I have recommended trying to let him fall asleep on his own with us in the hallway, so if he does wake up in the middle of the night he doesn’t immediately think “Where is my dad? He was here when I fell asleep”. That never happens...idk why.

I have often been told that I am insensitive bc he is not my own child, and I will feel different if it was my own kid. But.......I don’t think I would! There should be boundaries and rules for every parent-child relationship. I am fed up with the spoiling, and the co-sleeping, and 5 year olds with iPhones!!!!!!!!

So...any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you do have kids in your life, at what age did they start sleeping alone?