My boyfriend is parenting me, kinda??

Question

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for a little over nine months now. It’s been great honestly, he’s everything I could have ever hoped for. He’s sweet, kind, funny, considerate, great communicator, etc. It seems as if he has no vices. Recently we moved in together tho and he did a complete 180. He’s dominating in the worst ways, and controlling as ever. He tries to dictate who I can talk to (bc apparently everyone is trying to do me), when I can leave and where I’m allowed to go, what to eat, how much to sleep, what to wear, what words I can use, etc. It’s all for my benefit, but it’s like having a parent all over again. He claims it’s all from a position of love, and he seems sincere and none of it is done in a degrading or rude way, so I believe him and he’s just not the type to have bad intentions. It just gets a little frustrating being treated like I’m five and not 22. I’ve discussed it with him a few times and he says he’ll change, but it never stops him from blowing up because he saw me talking to a waiter too long or because I skipped breakfast or something. I don’t want to break up with him because again, I genuinely enjoy being with him when he’s not acting this way, but idk what to do. Please help, I’m willing to try any form of advice!!

Answer

Wow, if he’s like this at 9 months, I think you said, it’s only going to get worse. If you’ve talked about it multiple times and it hasn’t changed, I would move out. He can get therapy for his controlling ways and try to prove it to you, but honestly, it’s not your fight to overcome and if it continues, you’ll lose your sense of self worth and start believing horrible things about yourself and end up feeling trapped. His behavior is abusive, and he’s especially trying to justify it. Red flags all around.

Answer

Narcissism, asshole, controlling, all signs to get out before it gets worse. They are always so charming until they get you "on lock" like moving in.

Answer

This is not all for your benefit. This is for his benefit and his benefit only. You are an adult who is allowed to make your own decisions and do whatever the hell you want to do! If a man is trying to control you to that point, it is not for your benefit. This type of controlling behavior is also not love. He is not in a position of love. He is in a position of fear. That’s why he’s treating you this way. Fear is the opposite of love. He’s afraid you’re going to leave him, you he’s afraid you’re going to find someone else, he’s afraid your friends will know how he really is, etc.… None of this is healthy or OK. This is abusive behavior and it’s going to get worse if you don’t start recognizing it now and figure out what you’re going to do. It will only get worse.

Answer

LEAVE!! he's your bf not your dad and it's only going to get worse

Answer

That is abusive behaviors and will very likely get worse. It may seem to come from a place of love now but it won’t later. Leave now. He needs therapy.

Answer

Nope. Red flags all over the place. Get out, get out, get out.

Answer

they say you really get to know someone when you move in together. if hes already that controlling, you really need to reconsider the relationship. He can tell you all day long that its out of love, but its not. being an insecure control freak isn't love. believe us ladies who have seen and experienced this first hand. it doesn't get better, which is obviously clear from him not changing his behavior.

Answer

Even your parents wouldn't treat you, a grown up, like that. How much more your boyfriend. Get out now!

My boyfriend is parenting me, kinda??

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