Discouraging

It’s getting more and more difficult to fight being discouraged and wanting to quit. I don’t think I am strong enough to keep trying like some women out there. Back in Jan I found out I have pcos and started my first round of clomid. Dr was confident it would work and in no time. First round I didn’t ovulate. So we bumped it up from 50 mg to 100 mg. First month on 100 mg I ovulated but we missed our window. Second month on 100 mg didn’t ovulate. So now I’m waiting for the cycle to start over so I can try 150 mg. They aren’t sure why the 100 mg worked one month and not the next. Every month it doesn’t happen makes me feel more and more that it won’t ever happen. I have two beautiful children that I had no problem conceiving. My soon to be husband doesn’t have any children of his own and I always wanted more than just two. I want more and I so badly want to give him some of his own. But idk how long I can keep this going and keep getting my hopes up only to be crushed. I have been through a lot and I’ve always made it through and come out stronger but this is something that I don’t think I can endure. Plus with my age I’m racing the time clock which stresses me out. Clomid worked so well for me 10 years ago. I got pregnant on the first round. But now my body just isn’t cooperating and the mental and emotional turmoil is just too hard. I admire those of you who have never given up and I wish I could do that. But every month it doesn’t happen and with every test that comes up negative I feel like my hope, strength, and will dies a little more. I don’t want all my time spent on ttc and let downs. I wanna be happy with the man I’m about to marry and enjoy our time together. I feel like I’m constantly focused on ttc. I’m charting, keeping track of when to take my meds, keeping track of when to bd, hoping for the best but going through the worst. I just don’t know how long I can go through this.