The end of my journey 😢💔

Hey ladies! I apologize ahead of time if this post becomes too long. I, as so many of you amazing ladies, was diagnosed with PCOS 2 years ago. Prior to the diagnosis my husband and i have been trying to conceive for a little over 6 years now. Well, since finding out the condition our fertility doctor and on/gyn sprung into action. Countless procedures, test, etc. All paid off April of 2017 I finally got that positive. Just really quick I want to rewind for a second. Prior to getting pregnant through fertility my issue wasn’t getting pregnant. It was also staying pregnant. I had a total of 4 miscarriages before starting fertility. All happening around 8-13 weeks. So, when we got pregnant on fertility we knew this was it. Heartbeat and everything was amazing. At 16 weeks my ob/gyn felt good to start seeing me every 4 weeks instead of every 2 weeks. At my 20week ultrasound we was told there was no heartbeat. I promise, I heard nothing after that. I just remember screaming. I was induced Aug 20th and had our son Aug 21st at 1:43am. We buried him Sept 13th. I was broken. I couldn’t eat, sleep, nothing. My husband bday is Feb 9th and we was talking about making a fertility appt just to have a consultation but I knew with previous meds I would need my period to come. I had a period Jan but nothing in Feb. On my husband bday I took a test and it was positive. No fertility, nothing. Absolutely nothing. So, I just knew God was finally giving us our rainbow baby. Well at our 10week ultrasound again, we was told there was no longer a heartbeat. On March 23rd I started the process to pass the baby at home. I had a consultation appt with our fertility doctor to see just why this is happening today and he told me that he no longer had any answers and that I had to now accept that at 26 I could never have kids or give my husband that life. I feel like I’m dying all over again. I’ve always tried to stay positive with everything that I’ve been through but, I just don’t understand why am I being punished. Why? My husband and I took custody of my little sister child but why wasn’t I good enough to be a mom. I think about my marriage. My mind is racing with so many thoughts. As a women who can’t have kids is it even possible for a man who can have kids to still love and stay married? I am just so lost guys. I really really am.