I’m going to get so much hate for this because of my age. I do regret what I did and I reflect on it everyday.

I’m 15 turning 16 and last month I had sex. I opened up to my mum and told her about it. And ever since then she has been bothering me.

She’s told my dad and from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep they remind me. They will say things like

I will never get married and nobody will want me because the boy will know I’m not a virgin.

I’m a whore.

I’m going to fail my GCSE exams

I’m going to grow up to be a prostitute

I’m going to be pregnant by the age of 18 with 4 different kids with different dads.

Nobody wants me.

I’m an embarrassment

I’ve fucked the family up.

I should’ve been aborted

They would rather have had me raped and killed than had sex that night.

And worse.

I took a pregnancy test and I went to a clinic and everything is fine

But

My mum told me she is never going to trust me ever again and she will send me back to their country if I don’t do a surgery on my vagina which somehow makes me a virgin again. She forced me to tell the doctor at the clinic and to pretend it wasn’t her who mentioned it to me that I found out myself and that my mum knows nothing about it.

I told the doctor and she was a bit shocked. She asked me where I heard about it from. And I don’t know why, but i just told them the truth about my mum. I have social services involved in my family because I live in an “abusive household”. Social services don’t know. But my older brother (18) beats me up everyday. I have bruises, scratches all over me. Even this morning my older brother tried to strangle me and push me on the floor and I have bruises on my upper thighs and scratches all over my neck and upper arm.

Anyways,

I’m so scared. This surgery was said to be FGM and now the police are involved. I’m scared I have a baby brother who is 2 I don’t want him taken away.

My mum might take me London to do a surgery next week and the police don’t know.

I’m so scared. I don’t want to do it.

Please help me. Thank u

If you ask a question I will update this and put it on.

UPDATE: I am Kurdish so they will send me to Kurdistan.

There is no one I can talk to in my family.

I don’t really know much about FGM. All I know is that it’s illegal and that it’s surgery to your vagina and it’s really fucked up.

I only live with my baby brother, my older brother my dad and my mum so I’m the only girl. I’m so scared to tell the police about my mum I don’t want her arrested

UPDATE AND I AM SO SO SCARED:

The police are at my house telling my parents they will get arrested for FGM. They broke confidentiality without me knowing and told my parents. They have to be spoken to alone. I know when the police leave the house I am getting a beating PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME I don’t know what to do.

I also want to thank u all so much for helping me with these comments. I might run away just before I go. The police are taking my passport I think and I am not allowed to go abroad with them until 18. I will look at links because I think that’s good for me to know as I don’t know much about FGM. Thank you all so so much.

Once again I am so scared and I think they are leaving very soon

UPDATE: I am not safe.

After the police left, the police took my passport and I am only allowed broad at 18. I am so happy because i found out my mum might’ve took me turkey for surgery.

But I don’t know what to do.

Im in my room pretending to get changed to go to bed but I got beat so bad. Slapped, punched by my mum. She started praying to god for god to kill me. My mum is going to court because I am not safe with her. She said she wants to kill me and she will soon end my life if god doesn’t. Again mentioned again when I was in year 6 (about 10) till year 8 going into year 9 (13/ 14) i got sexually abused by my aunt every night. She said that she should have killed me whilst she was at it.

I got told again how I am a whore and my life isn’t good and I have destroyed the family. I even hear her talking in the other room she just said in Kurdish “you’ve messed this family up you prostitute, eat shit because I pray to god that he will kill you”.

She keeps telling me how god is going to get revenge on me and karma is coming for me.

I might run away. I’m so so scared.

UPDATE:

I’ve came back from school now because I have my GCSE exams and I had to revise. But I couldn’t. I can’t even concentrate in lessons. I’m so upset.

My mum just told me that she told her friends at work about everything that had happened. Her friends at work have sons and daughters my age and now they all know I had sex so I think pretty much everyone in the city I live in are going to find out I had sex because my mum said it. She came in my room about a minute ago and spat at me told me she is disowning me and god hates me and god is letting karma come to me.

I’m so scared. I have to run away but I don’t know how to.

I’m crying so much and I can’t take this anymore if I don’t run away I am killing myself because I don’t want to live a life like this. God hates me anyways. I’m so so sad I just can’t live like this anymore it’s hurting and breaking my heart and I just cry every second of the day and I feel so low from the minute I wake up till the minute I fall asleep. Telling me how I should’ve been aborted and I should die.

Telling me I deserve to be raped.

Telling me I deserve death.

I would rather die than live like this...