I’m so stupid

We have had 2 miscarriages in the past 6 months. The latest being 2 weeks ago. Now I’ve decided every time it’s my fertile window I’m going to get drunk. I didn’t even know you could ovulate that fast but my nurse friend told me miscarriages kinda reset your system so it wasn’t abnormal. But as soon as I saw that smiley face I went and bought a bottle of vodka. I’m so fucking scared of losing another baby I’m getting drunk. I’m already in therapy so that’s not a thing but I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to go through this again. I really don’t.