I think there's something wrong with me..

I don't know if I'll post this or not, but if I have.. I know I'm a bad person for this.. I know it's not okay and I hate myself for this..

Every time I hear about someone dying I think about how my dad could replace them, how easy life would be for so many people if it was him.. I feel bad, but he's always been so bad to his kids..

He's caused all (his children) of us mental health issues, and he was just never there.. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I know it's not okay to think about that but I do.. often.. I just.. I know I'm a bad person..