I hate my boyfriend’s ex wife

I hate her, like literally despise her.

I hate her so much it makes me even more angry to waste energy hating her!

The thing is, my boyfriend is significantly older than me. Most girls my age don’t necessarily have boyfriends who have ex-wives. They have 2 kids together. They had a life. I just graduated college and everything is new to me. I’m living a lot of “firsts.” And I love my boyfriend more than anything and I am so excited to share all my firsts with him, but I get SO SAD when I realize they are not his firsts.

He has been married, bought a house, and had kids and I haven’t done any of those things.

Is it wrong to wish he could experience those things with me instead of having wasted them on his piece of shit ex? She’s so awful and gross and fake I literally can’t stand thinking about it. But I catch myself getting caught up on the little things often and I can’t stop.

Has anyone had any sort of similar experience? And what did you do to get past it?