Excuse me while I think out loud..

I’m currently getting ready for my first D&C; today..and all sorts of thoughts and questions are sprinting through my head. But the main one is why. I’m a spiritual person. I truly believe, even in this situation, that everything and everyone has its purpose as time and I’m at peace with knowing I’ll be okay. But still, nothing could make me feel more broken right now than knowing I’ve mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for this change and to have it taken away in an instant with NO specific reason as to WHY. Whether it’s for 6 weeks or 6 months, knowing you’re carrying life inside of you and taking on that responsibility every way you should and can, doing everything you’re supposed to be doing and still hearing that these things “just happen” makes you feel absolutely hopeless. I’ve been through pain, but this is different. A true meaning to the phrase “sometimes life just isn’t fair”.