Two MC in a row just feel like venting

I’ve been on here a lot lately and its been a big help. How does one ever get over a miscarriage? We had our second one in 4 months and my spirit is just shattered. I will be 39 in two months and my husband and I want a family so bad. We don’t have any kids. We got married and met later in life and married at 37. We’ve literally only been trying since August 2017 I got preg in october and has a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in december. We then waited one cycle and got pregnant again in February and lost that one on 4/13 at just over six weeks. I’m doing all sorts of testing now w a fertility specialist but the waiting is torture . I’m tired of going through this. I can get pregnant that’s not the problem but I can’t believe I had a second miscarriage. Is my time going to come when I’m going to be able to Carry w pregnancy to term and have a healthy baby? I believe in god but don’t know why this happens to good women. Life isn’t fair and I know that. The age thing is a really worry of mine. I don’t feel like smiling ... I’m back at work , and even taking a vacation seems like no fun. I should have been 11 weeks today. It’s just not fair. Thanks all for listening.