This is probably going to be a long post to be honest.  I'm in a spot where I know that it is going to come down to my immediate family (mom, dad, aunts etc) and my future family (boyfriend and daughter).

I had a beautiful baby girl on Monday.  She is my whole everything and I what was supposed to be the best day of my life didn't end so well.  I have to start at the beginning.

I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We have been through a lot.  The first year we went back and forth about his ex girlfriend who we thought was pregnant with his baby.  During that time we both did dirt and hurt each other.  We always managed to work things our.  We went through he'll and back and always stayed together.  I love this man more so much but in the past 6 months I left him twice on god awful circumstances.This last time was after my baby was born.

The whole time I was pregnant he kept saying the baby wasmy his.  He believed that there was a possibility that he wasnt the daddy which lead to a lot of arguments.  He was also pretty controlling and jealous.  He would get angry a lot but I stayed.  I always stayed. I'm not innocent either, I was constantly jealous and gad my issues.too.  We weren't perfect but we had each other.

Our arguments. were awful sometimes and I thought about giving up but he always. talked me out of it.  When I left the first time I filed a report that I knew wpuld cause him to get arrested and to this day we are still going to court to try and get that straightened up.  I moved 2 hours away to my parents parents and still after that he talked to me and reminded me why I wanted to be with him in the first place.  We did a long distance thing for a little bit then I moved back.  Things were really really good.  I mean we weren't perfect but. again we were happy together together.  We did didstart to argue and as my due date got closer it got worse.  He still believed that there was a chance that the baby wasn't wasn'this.  which brought up a lot of problems. 

The day I went into the hospital we argued and we were werein the weird spot where I don't know know where we are areat.  I went to the hospital and he was there for me.  He did get angry because I got the epidural when he didnt want me to but he still held my hand the whole time.  When she was born he held my hand while I pushed and it was amazing.  Then she was born and I could tell things were going south.  He was convinced that she doesn't look anything like him and its true, she doesn't so he left.  He ended up coming back and they moved me to another room.  We ended up arguing again.  He was really hurt and I didn't do anything to ease his pain.  I made it worse, and he left again.  I wish I could change it. 

The next day I avoided him all day and he never came back to the hospital.  He called me still hurt and instead of reassuring him I pushed him away which caused him to lash out.  I know he has issues controlling his anger and he did exactly what I knew he would do.  He took everything I own and the baby's stuff and through it outside.  He took it to the dumpster.  It was clear how bad mad he was and I knew he would do it.  You can guess all the stuff is gone now because I couldn't get it.  I was still in the hospital.

I told my family about it and of course they are all angry.  I was mad too.  I was released the next day and went home with my parents again, 2 hours away.

We have talked since then and I he told me he was going to come back up there and give me the benefit of the doubt.  He even was thinking about how we would get through it if the baby wasn't his.  But I didn't even give him the chance.

I've been talking to him and realized that I want mt family.  My man and my daughter but I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my other family.  This is the second time I've done this and they are really angry about what he did.  With me knowing him as well as I do I know went he did it.  I've forgiven him but I know they haven't.

How do I choose between either family?  Really I've made my choice I just don't know how to go about it without burning all of my bridges.