Advice

a little background, my parents have always been very controlling, they belittle me and have always made me feel as if my feelings were invalid.. my father was abusive both emotionally and physically and my mother the same. they had me at 17 and 18 and my life with them had always been rocky. the majority of my good raising came from my grandparents...

so fast forward, im almost 20, my fiance is 24, we have bought our own house, have our own 2 nice vehicles, motorcycles, ect... we are well off financially and decided to have a baby this year.weve also been together almost 5 years. when i first told my mother i was pregnant her first reaction was "are you fucking kidding me im 37 and your siblings are 8 and 4!" sooo she also has told me things such as i shouldnt waste my time breastfeeding ect and is super hateful and controlling about these things because she really struggled with it when she had my siblings. im now 6 months and when my nipples started leaking she got MAD... she also got mad at us when we bought our home because my dad and her had to foreclose on a home 5 years ago and couldnt rebuy (my great grandparents home is being used by my cousin until my great gpa passes otherwise the money from selling goes to the nursing home and my mom told my gpa he WILL kick his goddaughter out bc thats bullshit and shes first born so shes entitled to it.. yeah).. shes also told me my grandmother, who i credit for raising me, could not watch my baby... all over control and jealousy.. now she has been buying shit like crazy for this baby, gets mad and tells my aunts she will NOT wait for a baby shower SHE will buy these things... she gets mad that me and my aunt are becoming more friends considering were 7 years apart and both pregnant... literally yelled at my aunt for intervening when my mother refused to stop opening my mail and reading my hospital bills and my aunt tried defending me by telling her to knock the nosy shit off.. just a whirlwind of control and crazy.. she makes comments all the time that i destroued her chance to have her last baby and post pics of my siblings with "#mylastbaby☹" ect.. but then buys and spends all this money that we do not ask for and claims shes happy...well she made a comment she will NOT be called grandma, she will be Gigi.. then a few weeks ago says "ugh yeah i dont even like gigi. i shouldnt be a grandma. can i just be aunt j" and LAUGHS...well last night my fiance comes home and informs me my moms bestfriends brother was telling him how pissed my mom was i got pregnant and how pissed she was i was even having sex ect. then he says how she told her bestfriend about alll this private info from when she used to raid my room in her house before i moved out due to my dad trying to strangle me (she still defends him to this day that they were "great" parents mind you my aunts see how fucked up my brother and sister are becoming now due to the emotional neglect and abuse she literally sits on her laptop and drinks natty light all night and pretends shes doing all these amazing things)... soo not only is she giving out personal info about things i owned or private things i kept in my room ect but shes telling someone who is also telling others therefore EVERYONE knows our business... my fiance is MAD FED UP EVERYTHING. hes absolutely sick of her making everyone think our baby was anything but a perfect blessing for us and hes so sick of the mind games and control.. we are literally scared to do anything in fear it may piss her off. she gets mad we dont pick my siblings up once a week so she can have a break.. then she gets mad if we are hanging out with my aunt and her husband ect and starts ignoring my aunt... weve bitten our tongue alot recently and havent said anything but its becoming harder and harder and i have 0 clue how to go about it because she invokes such a fear in me i dont know how to handle it... ugh it breaks my heart and even my fiance can see no matter how much i love my mom through her faults she cant give the same unconditional love back☹