I need help

We're coming up on 2 years of ttc with no luck. That's not counting the year before that when we were only using the pullout method because I wanted my hormones to be normal when we did decide to start trying. And another year I tried getting pregnant with my ex husband before that ended in divorce. Up until now it has been hard, but not nearly this hard. I'm starting to feel my depression creeping in.

Yesterday (The first day of my period👍) my Fiancé's sister announced that she is 3 months pregnant. They got married 9 months ago so I guess it took no longer that 6 months for them. On top of that, my mother sent me a text saying that my brother's wife is pregnant again (we aren't very close) but my future SIL getting pregnant is breaking me. I will be hearing about her pregnancy for the next 6 months and then the baby coming will not be any easier.

I feel unbelievably selfish and mean hearted for being so upset about her pregnancy. I would never treat her differently because of my own problems, but I know there will be days that I will have to distance myself from her because I will break down being reminded of my infertility all the time.

I NEED YOUR HELP

I need to know if I'm overreacting. I need to know if it sounds like I am experiencing infertility or if I'm just not trying hard enough. I have gone all out with temping and checking CM and all of that but it was stressing me out beyond what I could manage so I had to tone it down. I've used preseed. I used ovulation tests for a couple of months but I can't remember ever being certain that I had a positive one. On top of all of that, my sex drive is low. Due to some PTSD, having sex every day in my cycle has not come easily. We probably have sex, on average, every other day at most and that includes some stretches of 3 to 4 days without. Basically I would say we fall under the category of "Not trying, not preventing." Even though I want more than anything to be pregnant and it's all I can think about. Do I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and push myself to try harder? Should I go for testing? I just feel like I'm being a big baby but I also feel like this is never going to happen for me. What would you do if you were me?

Thank you for reading this. Even if you have no advice, please send me good energy. I'm feeling like I'm falling apart since yesterday and I haven't felt this low in a long time. I had been feeling so good and motivated since my last stretch of horrible depression went away and I feel it coming back in. I only have my fiancé to talk to about this and he is not a womxn so he doesn't fully understand how hard it is. I can't talk to my mom about it because we are no longer very close (due to her religious beliefs). I am asking for love and support because I don't know what else to do.