Feeling deflated 😔

I went to my appointment today. I’ll be 40 weeks tomorrow. I was hoping to get a membrane sweep to get things moving. My Dr said she wouldn’t do it because I’m not dialed enough yet. I’m at maybe .5 CM, my cervix is way far back, baby is super high and not engaged AND posterior. She won’t even begin the discussion of induction (unless medically necessary) until after my 42 week appointment. At this point, I feel defeated. I’m so tired and the ZERO progression makes me feel down. I was thinking “two more weeks” two weeks ago. How am I supposed to go even two more??? Not to mention, my sister who was due 11 days after me had her baby last week on the 21st- perfectly healthy at 37 weeks. I was induced at 12 days overdue with my first, and I’m afraid it’ll happen again. I’m typing this as I’m sitting on my yoga ball drinking my third cup of double strength raspberry leaf tea (been drinking it since 34 weeks) after taking my twice daily evening primrose oil (since 36 weeks) gagging at the thoughts of dates (6 a day for the last month). I’m dreading the “walk of shame” at work tomorrow and every day after, hearing “you haven’t had that baby yet?!” Or “boy, bet you’re done” or my favorite “when are you gonna have that thing?” Why????? Ahhh! I know I’m being very dramatic, but I just want to be done, or at least closer to done at this point. Melodramatic rant complete.