honestly sad

I lost the baby Im at a loss for words because I guess I never thought itll happen to me but here I am in pain and bleeding......and holding back tears because I dont think I deserve to be sad because I was only 3.5 weeks and I just found out and I wasnt fully ready for a 3rd child and I'm not in the financial place nor is my relationship with my S/O in a place for a new baby and everything happens for a reason and im strong.....but honestly I just wanna cry