Cruel Joke

Isn’t our menstrual cycle the cruelest of jokes? (When TTC)

I was 7 days late, thought for sure I was pregnant. I have never been a single day late in my life. I was excited, my husband was over the moon excited. I took 4 tests in that week, all negative but I thought maybe my levels were just low.

Then suddenly Sunday afternoon I go to the washroom. Blood. My stomach dropped. No. We’ve been trying for 8 months. I was already planning how to avoid the water slides this summer with my step sons (we go every summer but I wouldn’t risk it if I were pregnant), how to casually turn down the glass of wine at our friends houses, etc. I was planning and daydreaming already. Despite the fact that I told my husband we couldn’t be excited yet, it wasn’t confirmed. Of course we were.

So then as I angrily accept that once again I have my period, I experience the worst cramps I’ve ever had. It’s like my body is saying ‘not only are you not getting a baby this month, you’re now going to start experiencing the worst cramps of your life.’

Thanks a lot, body.

It feels like a complete betrayal.

I hate that the one thing we, as women, are meant to do, is so hard to come by. So many women struggle to get pregnant. It sucks.

I’m sending you all prayers and baby dust that May is your month ❤️