Extremely afraid of labor pain

I know labor pain is differs for each woman, as well as the tolerance of pain, but let me tell you my background story. My great grandmother died during labor, my grandmother only had 2 kids (2nd 10 years later and unplanned) and at those times having 10+ kids was the things. The fact she only had 2 is also telling me somethings. Now my mother and aunt both have had horrific labor. As you can imagine, i’m the only child for her. She said she begged doctors to kill her during the labor as it was the worst thing she’d not wish on her enemy (Please don’t judge my mother, she loves me with all my heart even when other people were pushing her to do abortion as a single mom, she got through it and got through much stuff for me. She’s the least selfish person I know, so her asking for death knowing i would have been alone had to mean something VERY big).

. Almost the same thing happened with my aunt. Now, I’m really scared to ever have children. Even when I have sex and I’m Niagara falls type of wet lol, it still hurts sooo bad, especially when I hadn’t had sex in months. It’s not the pain deep inside but it’s right at the opening when I feel my skin stretch. That’s like the worst.

I know at these times I could opt for epidural but I’m terrified it won’t work and I’ll beg they kill me as well. It’s just so scary. Should I just trust that the epidural will work or opt for adoption?

UPDATE: not pregnant yet just planning