Rape complicates friendship w/ men???

Question

Why are men so afraid of me when I tell them I've been raped? They become withdrawn and don't treat me normally; they act like I'm goig to break like a china doll or something. Please help me. I want to know why I'm losing the men I love.

Answer

I think they are scared because they don't know what to do. Rape is traumatic (and I'm very sorry you had to draw that card in the deck of life) but perhaps maybe it's the wording... Instead if graphic details simply say "I know we've been together a long time but I need to tell you soemthing. It's very dark and it might upset you... When I was *age* I was forced to grow up sooner than planned. It be blunt: I was raped. I'll spare you the details but in essence, I want to move on with my life. This event shouldn't define me as a person. I wanted to tell you so that way if I'm having a day where I can't let go, you can remind me that it's over and that you would never hurt me" and then give it lots of TIME because that is a deep thing to hear! Be ready for questions and always stress that you want to put it behind you and possibly say "I don't want to be treated differently but I want the man I love to know my past" good luck and I hope this does the charm:)

Answer

Is it like your opening line? Hi, my name is so and so I was raped. If it's after a real relationship and trust were established....then obviously the guys just aren't the ones for you.

Answer

Hey, about how long after meeting these men are you telling them this? If not long you're probably scaring them  away cause they don't know how to handle it or know the whole story and might be jumping to conclusions about you and the situation.

Answer

Not everyone needs to know everything. Wait untill you are close with them to diclose this information.

Answer

don't tell them..

Rape complicates friendship w/ men???

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