so when I was little, (like 5 or 6) I was raped by my sister's husband. they divorced one year ago but I still have memories. this wasn't normal rape, like forced penetration. he would make me lay on the bed, and let him finger me, give me oral sex, etc. no penetration ever though. he would make me pleasure him. hand jobs, and tried to get me to perform oral on him, but I threatened to tell someone. it's been 8 years bit I still can't bring myself to tell anyone. I'm so afraid of and sexual contact I can't even go to the doctors because the thought of them seeing me in my underwear is terrifying. i want to be normal, and be open with my body. my mom hasn't seen me naked since then. no one has. i really need help but am too afraid to ask.