Dear “Boyfriend”

Dear “boyfriend”, i say that because you tell me all the time that you never officially asked me to be your girlfriend. i’m sorry i loved you enough to open up my home and my body for you for a year now. and i’m sorry that i’ve become so dependent on you. not financially, but emotionally. i don’t know what i’d do if you left. you call me fat, a whore, piece of shit, a bad mother, and so much more. why can’t i leave you? why can’t i find validation within myself? why can’t you love me? you tell me it’s because my ex used to beat me so bad that now i just need someone in my life who is like him. it’s so not true. i left him, i left him because the whole situation started with how you act. the name calling, the putting me downs. next will come a slap. and after that a full blown beating, again and again. i thought if i was strong enough to leave him i’m strong enough for anything.. so why can’t i leave you? it hurts to know how much i love you.

sincerely, “the worst mother in the world”