Dear Marine

Dear Marine, you were my best friend before you left for boot camp, we became so close. You helped me out of an abusive relationship(even tho he is still in my life and trying to control me again) and realize that I can say no to him and find myself. You kissed me, told me you had feelings for me. Told me you wanted to make sure I was safe, you talked to me as a friend. You never did anything inappropriate. You were always really respectful. Always made me feel like at least one person in this world cared. You made me laugh, smile and yes even cry. You talked to me everyday, actually had conversations. We got so close, you told me everything and I in return told you everything.

I was worried I was too clingy, or open because I was always telling you how proud I was of you, and how excited I was. I always told you how amazing things were that you were doing. You told me it was okay to be like that, that you liked it and it meant something to you. I did it because my ex never incouraged my dreams, I was made to feel bad and like I would never do them. I never wanted anyone else to feel that way.

You have helped so much, and made me a stronger person. Incouraged me to do things I was scared to do. You were and are my best friend, I do have feelings for you. I am sorry if that is wrong. I know you don't want a relationship in the military and I respect that. our friendship means so much to me I don't wanna lose it. I just dont know what that means, do you actually like me and just don't want a relationship or is it just away for you to friend zone me? I really don't care, I just need to know. I don't wanna lose you as a friend but I wanna understand if I should wait or just move on.

I also miss you so much, Its been 10 weeks and I haven't heard from you. You come home in 3, you promised to write me. I know you're busy working hard, I just know its important for you to get uplifting letters and I wish I could sent you one. Can I run and jump on you when I see you? Is it okay for me to cry? I am so proud of you. I miss you so much.

I hope I don't disappoint you when you come home, I hope you're as happy to aee me as I am to see you. I am so excited for you to come home, but I am also scared.

I am sorry. I hope you're still my best friend. And my Marine.