After TTC for nearly 8 years, we had given up. At the end of February, I came down with the "flu". A few days later, my gut told me to take a pregnancy test. I did... Then had to post it in the faint lines forum here on Glow because I'm a dummy that couldn't read the test. Turned out I was VERY pregnant (my faint line was the control line because the test line was so strong!). Took a few more days to tell the SO because in my heart I was thinking it just was too good to be true. Scheduled a doctor's appointment but they couldn't see me until I would be 11 weeks. On March 19th, was rushed to the hospital with terrible chest pains. Yes, CHEST PAINS, not cramps, not abdominal pains, chest pains that made it near impossible to breathe. In the ER, got my first ultrasound, only to be told the pregnancy was ectopic, my right tube was ruptured, and I was bleeding internally. The chest pain I was feeling was from the internal bleeding putting pressure on many of my organs. Everything happened so fast after that. Surgery to remove the tube, a blood transfusion. After 8 years, my hopes of being a mom were revived only to be shattered less than 3 weeks later. The weeks between the positive test and the surgery were the happiest I had been in so long.

The silver lining to all of this is the surgeon found a blockage in my left tube. One I had probably had for more than 8 years. It had gone undetected (How? We are still trying to understand that...). He successfully removed it. He speculated that I probably had a similar blockage on the right side, which would explain the years of TTC and the ectopic. I went to my post-op check up, had some imaging done, and was told the blockage had not returned and there was no scarring of the tube (which is great since scar tissue could cause another ectopic). We were cleared to begin trying to conceive again once AF returned for a "normal" visit, which was last week :)

My purpose for this entirely too long post is to ask 1) how long others with an ectopic history waited before TTC again. My SO disagrees with the doctor right now. He thinks we should wait like 6 months or more; 2) how long did it take to finally conceive again; 3) how did you feel when you got pregnant again? I'm terrified that if we conceive again, I'm not going to be able to feel happiness the entire pregnancy. That everyday I'm going to just be waiting for it to be ripped away from us again. Does that feeling go away when you conceive again? Or is it always in the back of your mind?

I have renewed hope of being a mom again. In our 8 years TTC, I had finally accepted the idea of not having children. I just hope the doctors are not giving me false hopes, although I trust these docs WAY more than our first one's who apparently completely missed these blockages on multiple ultrasounds over several years!

Thanks in advance!