I feel like I've hit rock bottom and the depression is only getting worse. I've dealt with depression most my life and I somehow always pull through, but recently I had a miscarriage and since then, I have no desire to do anything. I feel like a terrible mom to my 1.5 year old because I have no energy when taking care of him. My husband tries to be supportive, but all we do is bicker about stupid shit (usually money). The weekend I miscarried he would not stop picking fights with me. Even when I started spotting and wanted to do bed rest and hope everything would be ok with rest, he still bickered with me for laying in bed. He knew I was terrified that I was miscarrying and he knew I wasn't feeling well and still bickered with me over me laying in bed instead of helping him with our child. Why couldn't I just get one afternoon off? I stay home with him every day while going to school full time. I'm so tired all the time mentally because I have a full plate. The next day I had a spontaneous miscarriage and had to go to the ER. I went alone while he was at work. I called him and he knew he was in the ER but he never once asked his boss if he could leave to be with me. He cares more about his job sometimes and I had to go through it alone. I had to be told that we lost our child alone. My friend drove 45 mins to come pick me up and take me home.

I'm just unhappy with my marriage right now. I don't feel like I have a partner or husband, I feel like I play house with my friend. We are never intimate. We never have romance. The one day he is off a week, we spend in separate rooms because we don't like being together. We have no money, he is the only one who works while I stay home with our child and go to school full time. He gets so upset with me whenever I go grocery shopping. He always says I have a money spending addiction because I spend our money buying groceries or gas. If I spend $100 at the grocery store to feed a family of 3, I get bitched at for a week straight.

I can't just walk away though. I'm trapped because I can't afford to be on my own. We have our baby together and I don't want to ruin my son's life and separate us. I graduate in a year and until then, I can't afford to do it alone. I have to make this work somehow...