How do you maintain that "in love" feeling long term?

Question

Hi ladies my SO of five years and I very recently split up. He told me he just didn't have the same feelings anymore and was no longer in love with me. I too had been feeling the same way for quite some time so it's not the biggest shocker. He said he loved me but now in a friendship type way. We spoke about it and I told him ive been feeling the same but I wasn't sure if it was normal after being with each other for so long. He was my first relationship but I'm not his. I guess my question is does this happen in long term relationships? How do you make sure you keep that "in love feeling" with your spouse/SO? Especially after so many years?

Answer

Love is more than a feeling. It is a choice. It is an action. It goes far deeper than butterflies.

Answer

Avoiding too much routine in the bedroom, planning date nights, encouraging one another to grow, and not take each other for granted. It takes work, but it's keeping things enjoyable. Love changes over time, just like life, but it doesn't have to fade.

Answer

My DH and I still feel just as strongly if not more so than the day we got together.

I think it's important to build a friendship first with the person. And to always work on the relationship ALWAYS. Every day I think what can I do to make his day easier/better and he does the same for me.
He literally is my best friend.
We always try to see things from the other persons perspective.

putting your relationship first and ahead of just your own well being is what works for us..

gl

Answer

To me you choose to love your husband everyday. You keep working on it. Keep dating each other. If you feel like you are growing apart go to counseling. Try to make it work and find the spark again.

Answer

Read His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F Harvey Jr. It was part of our premarital counseling and I believe it has helped us stay romantically in love and we have been married for 8 years!

Answer

We have date nights twice a week, cuddle daily and express our love to each other in messages or dumb gifts like me buying him a Lego set and telling him to build a example of our happy home

Answer

Yes it can happen people just loose that spark that brought them together before i got with my SO he was in a 6 year relationship,  he doesnt seem bothered we are actually having a family soon January 1st and he is still there for his first son love can drift apart if one person or both seems to loose that spark

Answer

I just broke up on thursday with my husband after 5 years too for the same reason but in this case im the one who dont love him anymore he does loves me i feel really bad hurting his feelings like this but is better now than more later idk i guess once the love is gone theres nothing u can do but everyone is diferent bit at least here is a Divorce

Answer

I know exactly how you feel Hun. I was with my ex husband for over 10 years. We were high school sweethearts and each other's firsts. He eventually got a job out of the city (about 14 hours away) and worked a 2 week on 2 week off shift. It was great at first but after years it was like we had different lives. The love was fading.. Eventually we became like roommates and he told me how he felt. We divorced cause there was no passion, no chemistry anymore.

3 years after my divorce, I'm remarried to my wonderful hubby and happier than ever, but you never know what the future will bring. I promised myself I'll always keep trying to make his days better, trying to keep the passion alive. The little things. Relationships are constant work but the best kind of work ❤️

Answer

Mine and I have gone back and forth. I think you choose what kind of life you want and you choose your partner every day. Its been about 14 months and we love each other, are in love, and love each other like friends. We're just settling into our relationship personalities and we both like each other still.  It just depends.

How do you maintain that "in love" feeling long term?

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