Nothing prepared me for what it would feel like bringing home a newborn. Let alone recovering from 48 hours of attempted labor and a C section wound that would need to heal for the next 6 weeks.

I was head over heals about announcing our pregnancy, the gender reveal and my baby shower. I spent the last few days before labor working on the nursery and was so happy still being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t rainbows and unicorns. I had horrible heartburn, constant jabbing pain in my cervix and was loosing sleep ( not like what I was really in for ) but I was comfortable and felt warm and comfy at 39 weeks.

Then I was flagged for high BP and was asymptomatic. It was a hard thing to accept I had no control over and couldn’t do anything to “ calm down”. They told me I would be induced the following day so as scared as I was I felt relieved I could still go to hobby lobby and go home to my dog who I told I would be home in a couple hours.

Nope. There was protein in my urine and they wanted to start the induction right then. The amount of fear I had was crazy! I knew for the past months this moment might come but I hated feeling like I couldn’t have it my way ( another week of being pregnant and my water breaking at home). To some it may sound silly but that’s what I really wanted to happen.

Skip the labor, recovery and the total of 6 days I spent in the hospital. What do I do with this baby at home?! The first night was alright but after that... BAM. Weeks 0-3 were honestly horrendous. I thought I had PPD but after talking with friends, family and two doctors that wasn’t the case. I had a very very fussy baby.

A baby who wouldn’t want to be set down, who dislikes binks, pacifiers, swaddled, and the car seat!

Long story short, hang in there and know that you’re doing the best you can. I was living minute by minute and felt so guilty because I found my new “life” as mom was almost hell. It was exhausting and lonely and at times aggravating. I couldn’t have people over because how much she would scream and cry, couldn’t leave the house because she refused to take a bottle and also projectile vomited after some feedings abs would want to eat right away.

But I kept with it and gave it my all. We’ve made it to almost 9 weeks and she is a different baby! She smiles and plays and wants to nap now! Thank goodness. We still have tough days but I am finally in the “light” area at the beginning of the tunnel.

I read a few stories similar and if this just helps one person feel better even just for today that’s all I wanted to do!

Here’s my gem