Hey! So last week I was on a sports tournament with my friend. I am 17 years old, he is seven years older. We know we like each other and stuff but we decided not to be in a romantic relationship since it would bring us uncomfortable situations. We only text each other except few days a year when we see each other.

But last week we got drunk (drinking age is low in my country, it's legal for me already).

I wanted to have sex but we didn't have any protection. We only "helped" each other with mouths and hands if you know what I mean. 🍌

I don't regret it at all even though I haven't even kissed anyone before. I would love to keep him at least as a friend with benefits. I am quite wild and needy, but it's hard for me to touch people I don't know/like. But do you think it would ruin my chances to have a relationship with him if I would only have sex with him? And would it not be mean if I tried to do so?