Being the second choice (what would you do?)

Question

Last night me and my boyfriend were on FaceTime now we’ve only been together a few weeks now no I’m not in love but I really do like him (no judgment please) so I asked him a question I said are there any girls I need to worry about ? He said I’m not gonna lie to you I believe in being honest so I was talking to another girl before you (which didn’t really answer my question) so I said okay, so if we broke up would you go to her? He said honestly maybe then I got quite and he backtracked saying well maybe not idk it’s a possibility but I don’t think so I’m mean she’s coo hella coo but I don’t think so, i said okay well glad I know now I told him I’d call him right back I was gonna take a shower (which I did) I just needed to think, I call him back but what he just told me had bothered me so I said why did you stop talking to her and come my way then? He said thing between him and her just fell off like they don’t have any issues they just stopped talking 
Maybe I’m being dramatic but I really am bothered by this I really like this guy but now this is all I can think about

Answer

To be honest the worst thing you can do in a relationship is let his past get you worked up. When you guys are together the only thing that should matter is the now and the future. Bringing up the past will open wounds up that will never heal and create insecurities/jealousy’s that can destroy not only you but your relationship with him as well. Let the past girls stay in the past as well as the guys you’ve been with. Just work on building an empire together and let it take you wherever it takes you.

Answer

As long as they’re not “talking” now it’s fine. Really. We all talked to other people before getting into a relationship with our partner. And if you’ve been together only a few short weeks, he’s more than likely to not take it too hard and start talking to someone else... we all do this as we search for someone to share our life with long-term. Yes, if the guy I was talking to 4 years ago didn’t work out after 1 week, I’d go talk to someone else. Why waste time? Why not cultivate other potential relationships?
You two are dating now, so don’t focus on what happened before or what could theoretically happen afterward. There’s no point...
I’m not going to get heartbroken if I ask my husband “if I die tomorrow, will you ever remarry?” And he says “maybe yeah.” Once  the relationship ends, it doesn’t matter what he does or where he goes, as long as he’s happy. 
Focus on you two in the present and don’t dwell so much on the past or future hypotheticals :)

Answer

I don't really see how he put you as a second option. He was with her first and didn't like it and then tried it with you and he's with you now. You can let him know it bothered you but don't be surprised if he turns it on you because you asked him to be honest about what he'd do if you guys broke up.

Answer

its not that big of a deal. other people exist in the world. when people meet other people and are interested in each other in some fashion and become friendly, like sometimes it grows into a relationship and sometimes not. sometimes you get close to people you didnt expect to become close to. my current bf, i was friends with for years and neither of us had considered the other to be someone we would ever find ourselves in a relationship with. it wouldve never turned into a relationship unless the right sequence of events happened. in this case we were both single and had a lot of time on our hands and ended up getting closer than we wouldve been if we had just gone about our normal lives. attraction is something that grows and changes. think about every guy youve ever had a crush on before. you dont care about them when youre in a happy relationship and you probably dont care about some of them especially guys you liked ages ago. youre overthinking it. other people exist in the world. just because your bf was interested in someone before doesnt mean hes just settling for you. he chose you. that probably means you won. youre his #1 choice. if you guys broke up, maybe he would see what she is doing but that doesnt mean hes waiting for you guys to fail at this. youre just going to sabotage your relationship if you cant trust him or his intentions with you. if you dont think youre inportant to him then just break up now and save yourself the trouble later down the line. chances are that youre going to stay with him though and if you stay with him, you should stop thinking like this.

Answer

He ultimately chose you so I don't know what the problem is. If he wanted to pursue her he would have, but he chose to date you.

Answer

Well did you ask if you needed to worry due to him changing his behavior or you’re just apprehensive. I would be happy that he was honest but I mean you can’t really be mad that he talked to another girl BEFORE he started talking to you. If he isn’t giving you a reason to worry then I would just chill out.

Being the second choice (what would you do?)

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