Why are you all lying?

Question

To all the women who say that they were able to find confidence and self love by just learning to accept themselves and not listening to that negative voice, I don't believe you. You say, "Focus on the things you like about yourself." But that can't be it. How even are you supposed to do that when there's nothing at all to like??? Or when you feel good about yourself for just a second but then immediately have to make yourself feel 1000 times worse just to offset that one good moment.
To all the people who say I just need to tell myself I'm worthy and beautiful and perfect exactly how I am and blah blah blah...you're kidding right? Somehow I'm supposed to believe that?
How do you not compare yourself to other women? I truly don't get it. I have to realize that I'm me and not them? Um, yeah. That's the issue.
I'm me. This worthless, boring, incompetent person. I don't want to be me.
You can't just tell yourself you're worthy and smart and pretty and suddenly be like, "WOW you're sooo right! Hahaha and all this time I thought I wasn't but because I just said so, I now magically believe it! Amazing!"
Anyone who says this has to be lying. They're just pretending. They have to be. Because it can't actually be possible. I've tried. So many times. Genuinely tried. And it doesn't work. It's impossible.
So I know you have to be lying when you tell me these things....right?
....right?

Answer

As someone who suffers/suffered with an eating disorder you can’t just snap a finger and love yourself. You have to learn to love yourself. You weren’t born hating yourself, somehow at some point you learned to hate yourself. 
It’s like cutting something ugly out of fabric and sewing something new back in. Except the fabric is your shit mind and it bleeds when you cut it🙃It’s difficult and can be a long, exhausting and painful journey. Something I needed a psychologist for so I suggest you find one. 
Read books on self empowerment and shit. 
Instead of focusing on the outside, focus on the inside. Who are you? What do you stand for and believe in? What have you overcome and what do you need to overcome? How will you benefit from that? You need to seriously do some soul searching. 
I still don’t love my body. But it’s the only thing holding me to this earth with the people and life I love so I have learned to respect it. Growth, it’s a concept.

Answer

no its not sudden but if you dont tell yourself that your worth something, youre never going to believe or feel it. you keep telling yourself that and you slowly start loving yourself more and more. you think youre the only person thats struggled through this? no of course youre not. if you keep telling yourself that you simply CANT and you will never be happy. youre standing in your own way by not opening your mind up. you decided that you cant change and so you wont. the mind is a powerful thing. its works both ways. people can even think themselves into sickness or health. loving yourself is not gonna happen overnight or in one moment. however you have to decide that you want to learn how to love yourself first. no one can help you do that if you cant even consider it as a possibility.

Answer

youre not trying to feel better. you're the reason why you feel like shit.  i  am depressed, i feel worthless and ugly allot of the time. but ive come so far by trying to be positive and focus on the good things, or distract myself until i do. it has helped so much - i still have my bad days, but I've mostly been allot better when I can help myself. you will get nowhere if you refuse to help yourself and reject help/advice when offered. work on yourself and you'll see a change

Answer

to get confidence sometimes you gotta fake it till you make it. for years I've hated my body image and at the age of 29 I fell in love with me. it's amazing to really fall in love with yourself and be yourself knowing you are good enough and not caring what anyone thinks bc you're gonna be happy no matter what that looks like to anyone else. I finally love me now. it will take years but it's not impossible

Answer

theres always something to like. what you need to actively do is change your view of yourself. i think youre comparing yourself to other people and thats the wrong way to go. just say man i like her dress. i like her shoes. not man her legs look better  then mine i wish my make up would look like hers etc. it is about changing your mindset

Answer

I'm not lying when I say YOU SHOULD WRITE SHORT STORIES!! You are actually funny, this post was not boring at all, nothing is impossible, trust me, I know, my parents left me in a cult for 5 years and my son is the only survivor of his type of cancer in our state, he is also only the 14th case in the states medical history, trust me... anything is possible! Try something new, different, writing stories that are based on true stories, this post is good, I enjoyed it, there is some truth to what you're saying, nothing in this world lasts for ever, everything changes one way or another, with or without you. What is the point of this life I sometimes wonder? I think the point of life is to be ALIVE whether you're single or not, you have a voice... use it to make a difference, stories are a wonderful way to communicate and make things become ALIVE with your imagination

Answer

My therapist told me that how you feel is controlled by your thoughts what you think influences your emotions. Start thinking positive things about yourself and you’ll start to feel differently. Yeah, you’ll feel like you’re bullshitting yourself at first, but over time those feelings start to change for the better.

Answer

It’s called loving yourself. It’s healthy to love and respect yourself. Depression +\or anxiety may be masking reality. Unless you’re just a bad person. You may be dealing with a tremendous amount of guilt. I’ve found that very few things in life are not able to be resolved if you truly do the work. If you don’t like yourself or your life change it. Take baby steps every day. Work towards accomplishing the goals you wish to achieve. Then maybe you’ll stop self obsessing about how much you dislike yourself. 🍀

Answer

Learning to love yourself is a tough road. It is not for the faint of heart. First, you have to understand and internalize the fact that everyone, including yourself, has flaws. Then you have to consciously and mindfully dig through the mud of your mind to find that in you which is good, positive, the perfect parts of yourself. Trust me, there are there. But your perception of yourself is like wearing poop-colored glasses. 
The more you get down on yourself, the more your mind subconsciously becomes that which you believe you are. You have to convince yourself your not. It is not easy to do this. You have to force it, forcefully redirect the negative thoughts and say to yourself, "No, I am not that. I will not think these things. I am smart, I am capable. I am powerful. I am loved."
The mind, the brain, is made up of neural pathways and over time the brain becomes stuck in particular patterns of thinking. The mind is fluid, however, and there are various ways to rewire the brain. Meditiation, yoga, exercise, psychotherapy and psychedelics do this but each method varies in the intensity and length at which the process takes place. You have to choose to get better, you have to consciously choose that you will not view yourself this way again and pick the path that best supports the rewiring of your brain. 
Any person who has had to go through the soul crushing process of self-love isn't telling you to do it because its easy. They are telling you to do it because its rewarding and vastly self-fulfilling to look at yourself as the masterpiece you truly are.

Answer

I spent 10 years with depression, self harm, developed anxiety and tried to kill myself more than once.
Now I swear I can feel the earth thunder when I walk. I wasn’t happy with who I was. So I built myself, got rid of all the parts of me I hated and created in myself the person I wanted to be. I worked my ass off, and now I love who I am. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve put too much time, effort and care into myself to hate me anymore. 
Better examples:
I WAS a door mat.
I WAS afraid to face my problems
I WAS always mad at the world
I WAS someone who thought that society owed me something
I WAS someone who, much like you, thought all these happy people who ‘loved’ themselves were liars.
Now, no one would dare try to walk over me.
Now, I face confrontation head on and solve problems.
Now, I take time to realize the beautiful things in life (my kids helped a lot with this)
Now, I know everything in this world is earned
Now, I know that self love is work. Happiness is a choice, a daily choice. But it’s attainable and real and worth it.
It’s real. Very real, but you have to want it. You have to work for it. You can’t just give up, thinking everyone is a liar. You can’t expect it to just be a snap of the fingers. You can’t just ‘write it off’ for yourself like it could never happen.
If happiness and self love were easy to have, everyone would have them. And we all know that’s not how it is. It’s real.
But you have to want it more than you want to fight it.

Why are you all lying?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey