Confused

I want to be ordered around in the bedroom, I want my husband to tell me to wait for him naked in a position of his choosing when he works past our baby's bedtime. I want him to order me on my knees so he can grab a fist full of my hair and fuck my face or order me to bend over so he can fill my ass with his cock. I don't know what to call this... I'm not into BDSM I dont want punished and smacked I don't want tied in weird positions I actually physically cant be tied like that. I want to be kind of like a submissive without all that I don't know I'm so confused and he's not helping sending mixed signals after I opened up to him about wanting this this morning, I knew he wouldn't be into it. He's so plain Jane no toys not really any kinks other than squirting and anal I don't even really consider those kinks. I don't know whats wrong with me we have a great sex life I get off multiple times every time so why can't that just be good enough for me. why do I keep asking for something he can't or won't give. I'm so lost