So confused!
I've never been so conflicted on what to do. I'm pregnant (8wks, 2days) & can't decide whether to keep the child or abort. I've known 3+ wks now, but just can't decide. I even went to an abortion clinic 2 wks ago, but after the ultrasound, they said they could tell I wasn't sure & sent me home to think on it more.
I'm 36 & no children yet, but always wanted them. I'm married, but it's not my husband's.
My husband is distant, both emotionally & actually - he lives in another country & I've only seen him a handful of days in the last 3-4 yrs. That said, I do still love him & there is no way he would stay with me if I had this child.
Also, the father is married w/ 2 children & I would not want to destroy that family. So, I would have to do this on my own - financially & as a single parent.
If that wasn't enough, I lost my long time job 6 months ago & have yet to find new employment & all my savings has been used at this point, so I'm not financially stable really.
Besides all this, my family is really religious & I will be judge on my actions, which I accept were not right in the first place.
I have written out my feelings, talked with a few friends, called 2 different hotlines, talked with the father & I still don't know what to do.
Thinking of how the child's life will be, I don't want it to suffer through life because of the circumstances they were brought into.
On paper, it seems to make the most sense to abort, but idk if I could ever forgive myself if I did. I don't know if I could ever get past it. And, what if I never have the chance to parent again?
I don't know that any of you can help me, but idk who else to reach out to. The few people that know are tired of my indecisiveness & are pressuring me to decide already & commit to it, but it's a life altering decision. Any advise on how to decide is appreciated.
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